I never knew this horrendous thread existed.
Here's my contribution:
Here's a small sad story
from not so long ago
of me, my light switch,
and my carelessness and woe.
This light switch was special in that
it dangled from the ceiling
A long fragile chain to be pulled
only with careful feeling.
For several careful years
did this light switch thus perilously persist,
Until one careless yank did tear
the switch; now it desists.
I stared in disbelief at the chain
snapped there in my hand;
my trusty partner I had slain
its spirit now beyond this land.
Now I can't reach my light switch,
it too high and I too low.
Failed me did that little bitch
and left me on tiptoe.